Oct 30, 2018

That Wedding Feeling

"Meet me at the altar in your white dress, we ain't gettin no younger we might as well do it. Been feeling all the while girl I must confess, girl let's just get married!" -- David to me

"In the end, as long as you two are married then its a good wedding. "

"...Well, and as long as you have good weather. Oh! and a good DJ always sets the tone for the party. And really, the booze needs to be flowing for people to have a good time, and you don't want people to remember the food because that will mean it was bad. Just create a good vibe that encompasses you as a couple, the cards and stationary should be timeless yet stand out, but don't forget to choose the colors based on the time of year--oh and The Dress! You must have the dress that suits your personality, makes you feel like a princess, fits the mood and venue, but whatever you do, don't spend a fortune on it because its only one day, what a waste! Check out this *endless* list of the top 485 blogs to help you narrow down your inspiration. Go through all the sales at major department stores and retailers, but definitely do not miss anything from the 127 local boutiques in your area--don't worry they're listed for you in any of the 45 different wedding and bridal magazine publications (which you had better just subscribe to so you don't miss anything). Wow this is going to be the worst year of your life, but I swear, it will be the best day of your life!"

Um...so....It really was the best day of my life!

I woke up the morning of our wedding needing coffee. I called David. He had just stopped driving to watch a family of deer cross the street in the misty morning dew.

My sister and I stopped for coffee on our way to the wedding venue. The butterflies in my stomach seemed not to bother any of the other patrons who were reading their newspapers, working on Econ 201 homework, and every one geared out for the Ohio State game. It was a regular Saturday morning for them, but my head was so in the clouds I felt like I was watching the scene from the shop's faux rafters.

The house was a whirlwind of hairspray, champagne, lipstick, early 2000's pop hits, and fifteen women getting glammed up. The day was already going by too fast for me; I couldn't take enough mental pictures to keep up. But the day held many slow, heart holding moments for us. Our First Look, our Groomsmen and Bridesmaid pictures, walking down the aisle with my dad, our vows, the beautiful blessings and speeches, dancing with our favorite people.

There was one very special moment when Father Avella had us look out at our family and friends. If my heart hadn't been filled to the brim before this, it was overflowing now. I had not expected to feel this much happiness; it was inexplicable and humbling.

I knew it would be fun. I knew it would be great! I knew that things wouldn't go perfectly to our plan, but we would get over it. I knew I would be excited, but that nerves may overwhelm me. I knew I should strive to be present in the moment. I knew that most of my stress or pressure was from inside myself, and from the five years of distance and one year of complete separation we had experienced.

The absolute perfection of every event, moment, mistake, mishap, every falling walnut; every speech, conversation, every song, and every photo was unfathomable in my imagination. I should've known that, as soon as we were together my nerves would disintegrate. I forgot about living in the moment, because, well, I was doing just that (I didn't even know what time it was!). I did know, and I do know, that the distance made us stronger and every minute of every day was worth being under that tree, giving everything we are made of to each other. Looking around to see the faces and to feel the love of everyone with us was something I could never imagine and will never forget.

There were admittedly a few times I was swept away--and stressed waaay out--over wedding consumerism and even by the artistic competitiveness of wedding "uniqueness." But, it was really fun to be creative together, to think of all facets of us as a couple--our pasts and our future--and invent this wedding.

There's not much new advice for me to give. Sure, a little research can help. But the thing is, most of the ruffles and frills don't matter in the end; the journey of creating something together is the key. Bringing together an essence of each of us, and more importantly bringing together people special to us was what really swept us up, and was the perfect beginning to the life we will create together. If you have your person--and your people--then it will be the best day of your life.